The nerves are back and I feel like giving up!
Well, what a bloody joke. Lately my confidence has been roaring but today the nerves came back with a vengeance. The thought of jumping had me so scared today i was close to the point of crying! And I haven’t done that since last summer!!
It took almost 20 mins for me to gather my shit together to even think about popping over a small cross pole. Which is just ridiculous when I look back at videos of us jumping before Christmas! When I eventually did tackle a tiny little jump I could feel myself socking him in the teeth and jabbing him with my heel. I just felt like a sack of spuds on top of a stick. Now is the point where I want to sell my horse and just walk away from it all.
My balls eventually began to appear and I jumped round a few little uprights and a gate (going at a snails pace I might add). So we are back on it! Very very rusty but going in the right direction.
So operation be less wimpy - commenced today. Also operation get my shit together and stop worrying about the imperfections and work on the positives also commences today!!
George & Barny