Borde Hill BE80!!!

So here it is.... our first ever ODE!!!
Well, today was a mission of two things. Number 1 was a confidence boost and fear facing day! Number 2 was to leave the start box without crying!(didn’t happen!)
So! I looked at the course pictures on Friday evening! They actually weren’t that bad and my nearves where brushed to one side!!
I woke up and headed to the yard at 5.30
We had late morning times and pootled down to the dressage for our time of 11.30ish! He warmed up okay, a little tense and slightly nappy but it was okay so we headed in..
He spooked at the bloody boards
I warmed up quickly, jumped a couple of fences and then went in so I didn’t scare myself
I was nervous as shit!! And I tried so hard to hold it in but after warming up and trying to act like a meant business I got told I was next to go!! I couldn’t hold it in! The tears started and they just wouldn’t stop!! I trotted down to the start box and by this point I was hyperventilating and the water was just pouring from my eyes!!
3,2,1.. GO!!!!!!!
I kicked like stink from the off, talking to him the whole way! Number one jumped lovely and he was raring to go! Over 2 and 3 with ease and then down the hill.. we got faster and he got stronger coming round the corner to number 4 we were wonky and unbalanced and he put the breaks on...
Then I was determined!! Kicking and shouting the whole way round, pretty sure I heard the commentator say that I was very ‘vocally active’
He flew them! Locking in to each fence and pinging into the air!! We went past the collecting ring and back down the hill to the ditch... I was kicking and shouting and the bastard still stopped!!! But without stepping backwards and a few slaps on the ass he popped over and we were off again!
He came in galloping!! And I cake in crying! We had done it!!! We had jumped round the course that started this fear in the first place!!!
We achieved one of our objectives on Saturday and I feel on top of the world. The crying thing still needs work but I’m sure one day I will grow a pair
I'm not sure where we ended up, the scores on paper weren’t that great.. but who cares... my horse was a bloody legend!!!!
And we are at that time again when the adrenaline from jumping round is still pumping and even after saying I’m never putting myself threw it again, I find myself on BE entering the next one